Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Randomize
