Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
