i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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