my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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