I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
