dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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