can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Randomize
