God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
May the power of my ass compel you!!
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
