I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
