someone get that fucking seahorse.
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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