so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
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