Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
me + whiskey = a bad person
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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