we have pet lesbian snakes
He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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