i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Randomize
