There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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