The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I want to be your penis for a week.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
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