how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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