its not stalking. its research.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Randomize
