she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
You can't special order awesome
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
