I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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