I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
