i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
Randomize
