So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
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