Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Randomize
