my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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