we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize
