Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
