Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
