I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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