I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Randomize
