Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
