dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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