Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
