whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
