Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Randomize
