My underwear smells like fireworks.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
