i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
