can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
