She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
