So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
