the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
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