Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
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