Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
