R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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