Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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