who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
