the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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