its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
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