so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Randomize
