just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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