forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
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