forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
