How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Randomize
